- Boxer by Wade Austin Ellis on Unsplah.com
In pure Rocky-esque fashion I was getting pummelled. Round after round after round.
After round!
Bloodied and battered after 14, on my last legs, I wobbled out for the last round still looking for victory. Rocky fought in the era of 15 rounds and I, too, was enduring the same length. But as he did, so did I…I found enough inside me to muster the strength to fight until I couldn’t anymore. I would put it all out there until I either found the opening in my opponent’s defense, I wore them out, or I collapsed in a heap on the canvas.
It wouldn’t be a story if it ended with me on the canvas, though.
Just as he reached inside for that last bit of ‘something’ and got that look in his eye, the theme started and we knew he was about to turn the tables.
He was about to win this thing!
With adrenaline pumping, I substituted me for him as that is what was happening in my case.
I went out there for the 15th and came out of it victorious. As Rocky yelled, “Adrian! Adrian! Adrian!” over and over. I yelled my daughter’s name! I had finally overcome the monumental challenge before me.
Overcome it for HER!
Play the Rocky theme all the way through for me! Eye of the Tiger, too! It all applies.
Nobody should have to endure a 15-round fight to the final bell for justice to be served. Especially not in Family Court!
The difference between my story and all the other Family Court stories across the nation and globe is…I WON!
I don’t say that to brag. I say that to expose how difficult and insane our Family Court systems are these days. Nobody should have to go toe-to-toe for 15 rounds of a heavyweight battle to come to a final decision. Some people can’t “go the distance.” That’s what the courts expect.
For those that do go the distance, it still may come down to a final decision against you. Very rarely, though, does one walk away victorious. Not as the targeted parent anyway. For the favored parent, it’s like a rigged fight. Ask any targeted parent and they will tell you the multitude of stories about cover-ups and schemes against them. They’re not delusional. And not “bitter exes looking for an axe to grind.” There is validity in what they describe. Unfortunately.
How can you win? It sucks when we didn’t even know we were entering the ring. But once you’re in there, it’s a fight to the finish. There’s never a draw. Someone will be the victor. I’m sure you want it to be you.
“Duh.” I hear you say as you bounce off the ropes for the umpteenth time.
Maybe you’re getting up from the canvas? Battered but hopefully not bloodied. Definitely mentally exhausted. This is common. You are not alone. Does it make it any easier to deal with?
“Hell no!” I hear you yell.
I get it: you want answers. Be careful what you ask for as the answers may pose an endless loop of questions. Let me put it this way: the system is definitely set up to drive the party on the unfavorable side of the table, dare I say, crazy!
First of all, forget two things:
1) The Constitution
And
2) The Best Interests of the Child
The court jesters use both as a ruse to suck you in to believing the system will enact justice.
The sooner you realize this, the sooner coping with negative results can start.
You can spend your time attempting to fight this, but, you’ll just get yourself winded and potentially knocked out early.
Endurance is the key. As the “underdog” (targeted parent) you have to be prepared to outlast your opponent. They have all the skill and experience on their side. You must be strategic. You must find their weakness. Unfortunately, it may take years of dealing with your case to find the chink in their armor.
I’m here to tell you, too, it’s not finding the right law to apply which will win your case. Its applying the right strategy. At the right time. You must channel your “inner Rocky!” Stay in there. Take a punch. Bob and weave. Land a few. Keep it going. Round after round after round. Until you find you’re opening.
It might take a few jabs. Combinations. An upper cut here. A roundhouse there. Body blow, body blow. Rarely does THIS opponent expose their self for the elusive Knockout. Neither should you!
I can’t tell you what that opening will be in your case. When it will appear. How your enemy will expose their self. Each case is different.
But, I can tell you this: each case has “something” which will turn the tides in your favor. That’s what you must look for in your case. Since there’s no legal silver bullet, one is forced to look at their case in its entirety for one. Not always is that “something” going to involve the law. It may be something personal. It may be something political. It may be something practical. Your objective is to find that “something” which works to your favor.
Try to be open-minded. I’ve seen too many get caught up trying to go toe-to-toe with The Powers That Be (TPTB). That’s like thinking because you won at the casino once, you’ve figured out the key to winning every game, every time. Remember: the house always wins! Same in Family Court. That’s why you have to play it smart. Zig when they zag. Take a punch. Etcetera.
Just don’t let them knock you out! Think like Rocky. BE ROCKY! Tenacity and Perseverance are the keys. Remember: None of his movies ended with him on the canvas.
Now go ahead and play that theme again! This time not for me. FOR YOU!
The Mirror's Puppet 